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Remember: It's only a joke! We add new pages on a periodic basis, so check back from time to time had have a laugh. Two New Elements! Element: WOMAN Symbol: Wo Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less) Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical Properties: Very Active. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amount of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed beside a better specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for disintegration of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. CAUTION: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element: MAN Symbol: Xy Atomic Weight: 180 +/-100 Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as well as young, fresh samples. Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None really. CAUTION: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. We hope you enjoyed our choice this time. Check back again for more. If you have any comments please e-mail them to .
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